“Because true love never keeps a man from pursuing his destiny” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
I have left home just over six months ago. Not a single day passes where I do not think of my friends. Many times my heart will long for us to be together again. Many times I question my motives for leaving. I wonder why I exchanged such pleasant comfort for risk and uncertainty. Easy for difficult. Belonging for loneliness.
My nostalgia was at its peak during the holiday season, which included my nineteenth birthday. I really wanted my friends.
They must have felt it. After the trip to Québec, I was welcomed to our Toronto home with more mail than teens usually get in a year nowadays. I left my best friends, and they still care about me. This must be true love.
(O.k. I admit I cried too)
Thank you my loves. I can’t even begin to explain how much good this did.
What do I want, really?
I want a big library with books and books and even more books. I want to live in a city in a loft with high ceilings and windows and brick walls and wood floors and a living room that is also a studio where I can paint and my husband can play music. I want to travel and work in orphanages and see the world and the many beautiful cultures. I want to document my travels and mainly just write all the time about everything. I want to go to Ecuador or Nicaragua or somewhere to teach English or French or art or anything else for a year as I perfect my Spanish. I want to graduate university with new and better work habits where I am organized and don’t wait until the last minute to get things done. I want to live in real life: where Facebook isn’t the first thing I think of when I take a picture or accomplish something or a major event occurs. Instead I’ll think of printing the photo to hang it on my wall, and I’ll think of calling my grandma or friend to tell the news. I want to act with love, patience and compassion towards everyone. I want to write letters and mail them to my friends for their birthdays. I want to take a stranger out for coffee and learn from him and be inspired. I want to collect music and tea and have tea-drinking-music-listening gatherings. I want to learn guitar and write a song and sing it to someone I love. I want to live.
I want to really live.
What do you want?